Auto-Tune Pizza

For those of you that don't know what Auto-Tune is I'm sure you've definitely heard what it is if you've happened to listen to any song on the radio these days. Basically it is an effect that you can put on your voice that will automatically try to put your voice in tune. Most pop artists are now using it so almost everyone sounds the same. It is very annoying unless you use it for a prank call.

The below clip is someone from the Stern show calling a pizza place using Auto-Tune. I've listened to this numerous times and I still crack up every time I hear it.

11 Bars Of Christmas???

Hong Kong bar in Faneuil Hall damaged by fire

Updated: Friday, 25 Dec 2009, 12:20 PM ESTPublished : Thursday, 24 Dec 2009, 10:51 PM EST

"A three-alarm fire ripped through the Hong Kong bar in Faneuil Hall on Thursday night.
About a half dozen people were inside at about 9 p.m. when the fire broke out.

Firefighters said the fire, which was caused by an electrical short circuit, began on the ceiling of the first floor and quickly spread to the walls and across the building.

No one was hurt.

The fire caused an estimated $400,000 in damages."

I can't believe I didn't hear about this until now. Forget fundraising for Haiti. We all have to act now to rebuild the Hong Kong in Boston. I will be holding a candlelight vigil in 2 weeks in memory of the best 4th Bar and arguably the best of all the bars on the 12 Bars of Christmas Bar Crawl. Stay tuned for the benefit concert that I'm trying to put together which will also offer free Scorpion Bowls at the concert for every $20 donation.

Click here to watch the video of the Hong Kong burning. Lets all have a moment of silence while you watch the video. I do have to warn everyone that this video is highly emotional so please use discretion when viewing. I don't want to be responsible for anyone going into a deep depression.

Holiday Inn My Bed

I couldn't believe this was actually true. The below is a news article that I read. I wish I could make this up...

"At the Holiday Inn in the UK guests who don’t want to hop into a cold bed at one English hotel now have a novel way to warm up: by enlisting a staff member to do it for them.

The Holiday Inn's Kensington, London, location will offer a free five-minute “human bed warming” service throughout next week.

So what does a human bed warmer do? A hotel staffer, dressed from head-to-toe in a white, fleecy getup that looks like a cross between a footed pajama set and a snowsuit, will get into your bed upon request and move around, generating some heat between those chilly sheets."

What could hotels come up with next?

Staff Members will drool on your pillow
Staff Members will give you a dutch oven
Staff Members will snore next to you all night

The Next Mythbuster

I have come up with the next Myth that they need to investigate on the show Mythbusters.

Myth: The show Mythbusters will start to lose ratings since the new blonde is not as hot as the old red head.

True or False?

Sunday Night Footboob

I've been listening to hours of talk radio this week. In the Boston area the main two topics that seem to be discussed are mammograms and Belichick's decision to go for it on 4th down.

The big thing for both topics has been everyone debating over statistics. One group will bring up certain numbers and then another group will present a whole different set of numbers. At this point in the week I'm so confused but have tried to put things together.

From my understanding this is what I believe to be true:

-56% of people agree that for both mammograms and 4th downs you should not "go for it" if you are under 40.

-76% of people agree that thinking of Tom Brady while giving yourself a breast exam will not help you.

-92% of people feel that whether you are looking out for your 2 boobs or 2 yards, make sure you don't "faulk" yourself by making the wrong decision.

Fresh Balls

This is not a joke. This is an actual product for "your boys". The below is an exact excerpt from their website, Freshballs.com.

Frank Brooks invented Fresh Balls for one reason ….. well … actually two. He, along with millions of other men, suffer from sweaty testicles.

Mr. Brooks, and his team of chemists, created this cream, called Fresh Balls, to ease this embarrassing problem.

Fresh Balls is the first and only antiperspirant for your boys… It’s Aluminum Free, Paraben Free and Talc Free. It contains Oatmeal as an anti-irritant and Tea Tree Oil – so it’s anti-bacterial as well.

In other words, it’s perfect for your skin.
Fresh Balls is an easy to apply cream, so it won’t clump on your skin or leave a powdery residue on your pants.

Check out their video and website by clicking here or you can also see the video from their website below.

How To Open A Wine Bottle Without A Corkscrew

How to Open Wine Without a Corkscrew - Watch more Funny Videos

Fleggaard – Lige over Grænsen

This is a Danish advertisement.


Is This the Best TV Commercial Ever? Fleggaard Controversial - The most amazing videos are a click away

The text on the sky says “Dish Washer – Only 4999″.

And the text in the end says “Fleggaard – Lige over Grænsen” which means “Fleggaard – Just over the edge”.

Grænse also has the meaning “border”, and Fleggaard is a German company selling lots of stuff cheap (or so they say) in Denmark. Hence “just over the border”.

Also, to ensure that I clarify everything in this commercial...yes, these are naked women that are skydiving. No translation will be needed for that part of the commercial.

Intern Google Search

I typed in the word "intern" when searching google for more information on Dave Letterman's situation. One of the first pictures that popped up in relation to the word intern was below.

I now know we don't have to worry about David Letterman giving interns a bad name. They do just fine on their own.

What Did I Miss?

Do you find yourself asking someone this at the movies after you return from the bathroom?

Now you don't have to with a new website: RunPee.com

The website will tell you the best times during a movie to go to the bathroom. It also has an app. for iPhones. During a movie it will buzz your phone a minute in advance of the best pee break time. It will also give you a synopsis of what you are missing.

This was actually created by a professional football player, Jordan Palmer (Carson's brother).

Check out the website by clicking here.

Female Urinal

For girls that don't want to use the MagicCone here is a urinal that will help them out.

Burquinis

The Burquini is basically a Burka for the beach. The women that will use it will mainly be Muslim women.

Instead of this being a requirement for Muslim women I'd rather this attire be required (or should I say mandatory) for overweight women.

If you'd like to see more on Burquinis click here.

The Shake Weight or the Hand Job Handle?

Hilarious Shake Weight Exercise for Women - Watch more Funny Videos

Should they really call this the Shake Weight?

If they don't decide to change the name of the product they should at least change the commercial to what the true benefits of this would be...

Revised Commercial:

Hey girls, are you sick of it taking so long to jerk off your husband/boyfriend? Well we have your answer. Start training with the new Shake Weight.

We've found on a study of more than 300 women that they cut down the average time it took to get their loved one off from 3.4 minutes to 15 seconds flat.

Lets listen to what Debbie has to say...

Debbie: "The Shake Weight changed my life. Being married to an alcoholic with liquor dick has been a living hell for me until I found Shake Weight. Now instead of taking 27 minutes to jerk him off I'm done in less than 2 minutes. Thank you Shake Weight!!!"

Australia's Got Talent

Everyone thought that Susan Boyle had talent...now this is talent.


I Suppose Australia Has Talent - Watch more free videos

Cashing In On Michael

This is eBay at its best.

This is an actual item that I found being sold on eBay. It is a hand made bust of Michael Jackson. At the top it reads, "Rare Item Hand Made Local Artist in 1983 MJ has seen it".

The "buy it now" price is $25,0000. Classic.

Sleepover With Bubbles

I know what many of you have been thinking this week. Although one of the greatest music stars of all time passed away you really are upset wondering; "What happened to Bubbles?"




Don't worry, Bubbles is still alive. He is currently 26 years old and living at a Center For Great Apes in Florida. He is doing well but it does look like he took some tips from MJ.

Similar to MJ allowing people to "sleep over" at Neverland Ranch, the location where Bubbles is currently located allows persons that donate a certain amount of money to actually "schedule an overnight stay".

Per the Center For Great Apes website, a person "contributing at the Founder’s Club level ($10,000 and above) may schedule an overnight stay in one of our guest cabins."

I predict in less than 3 years Bubbles will be accused of child molestation allowing children to sleep in his bed as well as giving the children wine which he refers to as Jesus Juice.

**A Special Message to Bubbles: Bubbles...if you're out there reading this take a look at the Man In the Mirror and say to yourself, "I'm gonna make a change for once in my life."

Learn from Michael's mistakes...don't let anyone sleep over.**

Fill In The Blank Plus 8

New Titles for the Jon & Kate Plus 8 Show

Bodyguard & Kate Plus 8

Jon & Kate Separ-8

Jon & Twenty Three Year Old Date Plus 8

Kate & Madelyn Plus 7

Mike Brady & Kate Plus 14

Hair Plugs & Spiky Plus 8

Gymboree Marketing & Kate Plus 8

Who Gives a Sh*t & Who Gives a F*ck Minus 8

Lets Build a Death Star

I stumbled across an article on Gizmodo that actually calculated the cost of what it would take to build a Death Star.


The total cost for a "no frills" Death Star would be $15.6 septillion and 94 cents. That is 1.4 Trillion Times the current US debt.

I really think we should put the money that we've borrowed from China towards building one. Use it as the start of a down payment so we can get this project going.

That way if China continues to become the powerhouse that we are all worried about and at some point demands us to start paying back the money we can simply say...

"We're not paying shit. You can go take your plastic toys and shove them up your ass. We've got a Death Star now...Bee-ach. That's right China...I said Bee-ach."

Comments

Since I have started my blog I will get email notifications once in awhile from people that leave comments at the bottom of each post.

Most of the comments are from people that I know but I have received some from random people that end up discovering my blog.



I normally won't comment on a comment but couldn't believe that I actually received a positive comment from someone for my Lunapad and DivaCup post.

The comment to the post was:

ekodiva said...
i'm a woman and i totally understand being happy about not having to deal with luna pads or diva cup. but... if ya' gotta deal... the diva cup is awesome! washing it out really isn't bad at all, and it's totally comfortable. recommend it to all your girlfriends! they'll love you even more! :)
February 16, 2009 1:49 AM

If anything I'd figured I'd get a positive comment about a blanket with arms in it vs. a post about re-usable menstrual pads. Go figure.

I guess the only thing that would top a positive comment about Lunapads would be a comment on my Triple Nipple post from someone admitting they have one.

Gilly

Have you ever watched something that is so bad it is actually good?

For those of you that don't watch Saturday Night Live these days you're not missing much. Although they haven't been that great I did see a skit that I had to share. It's the "Gilly" skit.

It will take a couple times of watching it to find it funny.

Watch it a few times and if you still don't find it funny have a few drinks with friends and continue to say "Gilly" in a deep voice about 100 times in a row and have your friend say "Sorry".

I promise you by about the 43rd time you'll be pissing your pants and won't be able to stop saying it the rest of the night.