Great Catch

Watch this catch. Besides Tyree's, this is honestly one of the best catches I've ever seen. The anchor really isn't exaggerating.


Best Football Catch This Year - Watch more free videos

Ranch, Light Ranch, or Licked Ranch

While we're on the subject...how about those salad bars?

Don't even get me started on how much buffet/salad bars freak me out in terms of germs.

I once was at a Bonanza which had a large buffet. As I sat eating my dinner I watched everyone go up and grab their food. This one man who appeared to be a bit slow decided that he would like some Ranch Dressing on his salad. After he was done pouring the dressing he decided the best thing to do would be to lick the entire ladle he used to pour the dressing and then proceed to put it right back in the tub of Ranch dressing.


Now most of your are thinking what type of person would do that?

That is gross and awful...but before passing judgement on the slow person you might want to remember that I actually saw it happen. I then watched at least 3 more people dive in and pour Ranch dressing on their salads with the same licked over ladle before telling someone.

Hey...I was only about 9 at the time and thought it was more funny than gross.

Enjoy the attached clip for a great prank call from a Stern staffer to a woman that works at a buffet. Hysterical.

Bonehead (bōn'hĕd')

Bonehead (bōn'hĕd'):

n. Informal.
A stupid person; a dunce.

Meaning #1: these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence Synonyms: dunce, dunderhead, numskull, blockhead, lunkhead, hammerhead, knucklehead, loggerhead, muttonhead, shithead, fuckhead

Screw, Marry, Kill

The following three women would make one of the hardest games of Screw, Marry, Kill ever.

There Is Someone For Everyone

My father has always said, "there is someone for everyone". It is so true.

No More Partying Like A Rock Star

I always used to think that partying like a rock star was the ultimate in partying. You always hear bands that get in fights during a concert, jump off the stage, forget the words to songs, trash hotel rooms, bite the heads off bats, etc.

Do you really think bands today like the Jonas Brothers, Maroon Five, and Fall Out Boy are really partying like the rock stars of old?

Since there are no true rock bands that are bad ass enough to party like rock stars I'm going to say that I'm partying like a R&B Star from now on.

Jodeci, who is a washed up R&B group, decided to have a reunion show. Here is a list of the many things that went wrong during this recent show:

• Only two of the original members (K-Ci and Jo-Jo) actually showed up and performed at the concert.
  
• Jo-Jo barely made it through the concert since he was messed up on something (alcohol, drugs, etc.)
  
• Jo-Jo completely passes out during the encore on stage while his brother continues to sing to a back track.
  
• A security guard who you think will walk on stage and pick him up only picks up his microphone and keeps walking.
  
• While his brother is still lying on the ground K-Ci shouts to the crowd, "Guys, give it up for Jo-Jo."

See the clip below. It is classic.

So the next time someone asks you how hard you partied the night before, make sure to tell them you Partied Like a R&B Star!!!

Send Me An Angel

I just heard this song today in the car and I can't help but think of the movie "Rad" every time I hear it.

For those that have never seen this movie you are missing what might be the greatest movie of all time. Check it out.



Where else can you find Uncle Jessie's girlfriend before Full House, rad bike moves from 80's pro-freestyle bikers, bad guys dressed in 80's gear that look like they just got off the Starship Enterprise, and an obvious male stunt double for Uncle Jessie's girlfriend.

Watch this movie if you never have and I promise you whenever you here Send Me An Angel by Real Life again you will not be able to think of anything else besides this scene in the movie.

Star Wars: Episode X- The Pottery Barn Strikes Back

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

...I used to live in an apartment by myself. I was able to decorate however I wanted.

Then I moved in with my wife in which the entire decor had to be a Pottery Barn theme. I have to admit that I don't mind Pottery Barn decor but wasn't excited about it...until now.

They've come out with Pottery Barn Star Wars decor. Before I moved in with my wife she would have never let me keep Star Wars decorations around but now that Pottery Barn makes it I now have a shot.

...and yes, I know that this Pottery Barn decor is geared towards 6-8 year old boys but I figure I have two girls now and may never have a boy so need to convice my wife to let me decorate our room like below...

Leroi Moore 1961-2008

I was very sad to hear about Leroi Moore. I hadn't seen them in concert in about 6 years so I decided to get a ticket this year and see them by myself this past June. Very glad I did.

I was also very sad to see that an 8 gold medal winner wears his hat like a big dork.

I'm Calling About The Kenmore Dryer?

This is a great prank call. It is from a guy, Richard Christy, that works on the Howard Stern show. I've been meaning to post this for awhile.



You probably have to listen a couple times to get the true genius of this call. He ends up calling a woman that is selling a few different items.

Before he calls her he pre-records a bunch of different things to say to her on a sound board. As he talks he'll hit some of the pre-recorded phrases so he talks over himself....too hard to explain.

Just listen to it.

It is great.

You Don't Have To Drink To Have Fun

That is what the makers of a game called "Pong Toss" for the Nintendo Wii hope.

They couldn't call it "Beer Pong" so had to stick with "Pong Toss".

I really don't think this will ever beat playing the real thing. The only way this would be as good as the real thing is if you're able to share backwash with others, wash the balls after falling on the floor in a cup of water, and potentially end up puking in the corner after playing 10 games in a row.

I guess on a positive note you'll never end up waking up in bed the next morning with a massive headache and next to the girl you "thought" looked good after playing 27 games of Beer Pong.

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Big John?

I promise I'll never get too preachy or take political sides on my blog but I will make sure to crack on all political candidates as much as possible. I've included 2 ridiculous clips below.

This is absolutely genius if Ludacris is secretly working for the McCain party.



This next clip is an add for a Senator in Texas who was running for office. It is truly classic. I think Big John should be our next President.

This Is Mike...How Can I Help You?

This is not a joke. This isn't one of those made up customer complaints that get forwarded around.


This is an actual email from a customer about a sales rep that works for my company. The only thing I changed was the name of the employee and customer name. Other than that this is the actual email that I received from a customer complaining about a sales rep.

Arturo Nunez: 07/27/08 06:02 Do you always hire ASSHOLES asuch as Johnathan Smith in Corpus Christi? He is a chronic LIAR and an extremly sorry excuse as a sales rep. It took eight weeks for us to get our upgrade to a satisfactory level. He needs TO GO! I will give you two examples of what I speak of; When I asked him for his home office phn.# and physical address, he repolied that "it's not for customer's" Ha! Ha! Ha! Then, he calls back to tell me that he's going to give me the phn.# but to "not let anybody know that he had given it to me"! Sooooooooooooon! He gave me the service call number-what a dick.This bitch took me for stupid. Of the 100 or so messages that I have left him on his voice mail, he has returned-maybe ten. Listen, I'm 54 yrs old, I am a Viet-Vet,and a multi craftsman-welder, pipe fitter, sheet metal worker(four year apprenticeship) AND a salesman. I have an AA in applied sciences. I have been to 7 different countries, have been to prison twice, got beaten and left for dead, have been shot twice, I have survived my first wife and have been around the block once or twice. To have this PUNK insult me like that was as degrading to me as being told to "sit inthe back of the bus". Now THAT was a fuck up.....excuse my French but when I speak or think of this winnie, I............catch my drift?
System: 07/29/08 14:47 Change Notification of Department set to Sales/Product Information

I'm actually responsible for having to reply to this. I'm still trying to figure out if I should help him out with his phone issues he may have or just ask him to grab a drink and listen to his life stories...this guy is classic.

What's The Over/Under?

Donaghy Receives 15 months Despite Cooperation


Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy was sentenced Tuesday in a New York court to 15 months in prison for his role in the betting scandal that has rocked the league.


Donaghy, 41, pleaded guilty last August to conspiracy to engage in wire fraud and transmitting betting information through interstate commerce.

Vegas has also reported odds as well on his 15 month stay in prison. The over/under for Donaghy tossing another inmate's salad is 4 days.

Good luck Tim!!!

I put my bet on the under...sorry. Maybe you can at least look forward to being the referee for the Prison Basketball League.

Farts Are Always Funny

What is it about farts that are always funny?

• Is it the noise that is made?



• Is it the awful smell?



• Is it seeing others reactions to it?
  

I have read funny articles, I've seen funny comedians, I have watched funny shows/movies, and I have a lot of funny friends but nothing will get more of a consistent laugh each and every time than a fart does.

I'm 32 years old and when I join conference calls at work it asks you to record your voice. Most of the time I record a fart noise so when I enter the conference call others hear, "BBBFFFFRRRR has joined the conference". Each and every time time I do it I get a huge laugh. These are professional adults that still crack up after hearing a fart noise.

Farts could have a lot of power to change things in this world and make the world a lot happier. It would be a great stress reliever in tense situations. I know it would help me with bad news. Someone could tell me just about any terrible thing and if they ended with a fart I'd have to laugh.

"Mike, Global Warming has sped up and will destroy the Earth in 2 years...BBBFFFFRRRR"

"Mike, Steph has been sleeping with the UPS man...BBBFFFFRRRR"

"Mike, you've been diagnosed with a rare disease in which you will have a permanent erection but will never have any feeling in your penis...BBBFFFFRRRR"


The reason I decided to spend so much time thinking and writing a post about farts is due to my nephews. They asked me to pull up a funny clip on You Tube that I posted below. I didn't expect myself to laugh but I found myself laughing harder than a 6 and 7 year old.

...once again it proves my point that no matter when or at what age you hear a fart it is always funny.

"Stop Bruce...Stop!!!", cried Martha Wayne.

Would Bruce Wayne have assaulted his mother? No way.

I always thought Christian Bale was a good Bruce Wayne but now that he's been allegedly arrested for assaulting his mother and sister he'd be better off playing the mugger that killed Martha Wayne.

I heard that the reason Christian assualted his mother and sister was because they told him Val Kilmer was a better Batman and that Adam West looked better in a batsuit than he did.

Dancing With The Criminals

If you think prison life is easy...think again. You need to worry about gangs, corrupt prison guards, being raped, and also learning dance steps.

The below is a tape of a Filipino Prison that actual puts on dance shows. I could see someone getting them on Dancing With The Stars some day.

Carrie Ann Inaba: "It started off a little slow but towards the end the chain gang ended with a bang! A few of you need to watch your posture a bit but I'd have to say overall great job. I love how you tie everything together with the orange outfits."

Len Goodman: "No, no, no Carrie. Once again you don't know what you're talking about. The rapist in the back row was completely off on his timing, I specifically saw the crack dealer do a lift which is not allowed, and when the visitors section started dancing it completely ruined everything. No one was using proper technique. Awful...just awful."

Bruno Tonioli: "Lord of the Dance meet Lord of the Inmates. You all danced around the courtyard like a pedophile floats around a playground. It was a magical display of prisoner passion with dancing like I've never seen before. If you are all this good at dancing in the courtyard I wonder what it's like in the showers. You all make me want to get arrested and put in prison."

Can I Have A Water With Fecal Matter Please?

When did restaurants start assuming that everyone wants a lemon wedge when you order a water?

I can't go anywhere these days without ordering a water and having it come with a lemon wedge on the side of the glass. Each time I now must ask to have a water without lemon. It is very frustrating.

For those of you that say, "Screw you Mike, I like lemons with my water so stop complaining", you might want to think again and start ordering like I do.

See the clip below.

Tour of Italy

Playboy just came out with "The Girls of the Olive Garden".

I hear that the magazine comes with a 45 minute wait, endless bowl of pasta, breadsticks, and a side order of slut in a cream sauce.

Madonna Who?

This is the real reason why A-Rod's wife wants to leave him.



I heard that the guy rubbing him down can also Vogue really well.